The New Inspiration

I have a dilemma going on in my life and the problem is that lately I haven’t found anything inspiring to write about. Scratch that. I have plenty to write about, but I feel like I need to be a little more cautious and use a new level of discretion when I choose to write about the things that I write about. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not uninspired, but recently I realized that when I write about my personal life I’m at my best, regardless as to what’s going on or going wrong in it.

But some of the characters in my blog are also the friends and people that are reading my blog, which means we’re in the middle of a conflict of interest, a sometimes double entendre, and the reality that they may or may not end up as a character in it. I once wrote that I couldn’t do this blog without my supporting cast so I guess all I can say is, I told you so.

But let’s be honest, not EVERYTHING in my life is “blogable” just because this blog exists. Some things I try to keep private as I attempt to follow a level of ethics that I live and write by. For instance…

I want to to write about my ex girlfriend of mine who puts headphones in her ears at night and lulls herself to sleep by listening to the soothing sounds of white noise, but I know people will gossip the fuck out of it if I did.

I want to write about the PYT from the 90s that is flakey as fuck, but loves the movie Heathers as much as I do, but again, it’ll all turn into talk, talk, talk, and at some point I want to at least try to protect her anonymity.

Then there’s the wide eyed, congenial lawyer I had many wines with, and how half of a glass ended up on my knee at a baseball game, but even though she doesn’t read my blog, there’s always the possibility that she might one day read my blog… just because it’s out there.

However, certain things that affect my everyday life NEED to be written about which is why I have no qualms to mention the Bumble girl I dated for a minute who read through this website and then psycho-analyzed me on dates number two and three. It never got past that night when I accepted an invitation to go to a wedding with her, then rescinded that invitation three hours later, and haven’t seen her since.

It was my call, obviously. Reading my blog and then trying to figure me out by getting drunk and calling me out on stuff I wrote about is reminiscent of people who go out to Irish bars on St. Patrick’s Day and drink themselves stupid. Fucking amateur hour. I just wish she would have taken this for what it is….a moment in time I document about my life, which she is no longer in anymore.

Maybe I was being too harsh, but a part of me was pissed that night. Who does that shit? I mean, it’s not really fair to me is it? Anyone who dates me, or knows me, or is in my circle of friends knows I write this blog and it’s pretty goddamn personal. Am I unable to be brutally honest? Do I have to censor myself now? My life is basically out there for people to read and come to think of it, I should have everyone I meet sign a non disclosure agreement stating that they won’t use the information in this blog against me, or like the Bumble girl. Please don’t drink hella tequila and start verbally attacking me, repeating the phrase “I don’t give two shits.” seventeen times in eight minutes, then regurgitating some line about how you know all this stuff about me like I’m bad in relationships and a “hopeless romantic”

No shit I’m a hopeless romantic….you read that about me on the first page of this website. I should probably update that because come to think of it… I’m definitely NOT hopeless.

I guess for now, I can try to filter the truth through strategically playing the right pawns and rooks, but you might suggest that I have to come up with more creative ideas than writing about my three muses because lately it’s been all work, wine and women. I need to get back to having an experience outside of all three of them.

But ultimately, if you give me a reason to write about you, I’m going to write about you. Just don’t do anything stupid and please don’t get offended. This blog is half satire, and that should be taken with a grain of salt, or an entire shaker for those of you who know me.

However, if you do choose to get offended, remember that it’s your choice to feel that way, and it’s my choice to not feel the need to apologize for any of it because this is MY story. I shouldn’t have to censor myself or say I’m sorry for the things that someone else did to me. I’ve got to tell my story in the most sarcastic, ironic, bitingly funny and dreadfully dramatic way possible, without cause for concern about who may or may not get butt hurt along the way. And that will have to be my new inspiration.

This is Racist, That is Rapey

I bet you’re here because you saw the word racist and rapey in the title, and just HAD to click the link because apparently we are a nation obsessed by being offended by everything. 

That would be including (but not limited to) instances where putting the French flag atop the Seattle Space Needle instead of the Kenyan flag was questioned as racist, and this ad for Bloomingdale’s was taken down for promoting a “rape culture”   


Seriously?  Give me a fucking break… on both accounts.  

The French flag flying atop the Space Needle is a show of solidarity for the terrorist attacks on France, who is our ally, who gave us the Statue of Liberty, and who also helped us win wars hundreds of years ago which is one of the reasons we are free country today… well, a free country that is being watched, recorded, and listened to by the government through all of our computers and cell phone devices but oddly enough, I’m ok with that.  

They’re not looking for me….unless of course I do something  so “racist” according to this article by putting the French flag on top of the most famous building in the Pacific Northwest, instead of Kenya’s flag in honor of the hundreds that were killed in THAT country back in April.

It was a bad week for the world I get it, but let’s be honest…there is NOTHING racist about that.  I’m almost offended that someone would be offended by that and call it something it’s clearly not.  Both events were a tragedy, but I think people are getting a little too casual with throwing the word racism out there just for the clicks. 

Click this link to find out that nothing in the headline is actually true, because clicks are the new form of currency in the world.  

What if the owner of the Space Needle is French and not Kenyan?  What if there is only one flag pole on top of the observation tower?  I wonder if the writer of that article would even know what Kenya’s flag looks like.  I mean, where would one go to get a Kenyan flag anyway?  7-11?  Home Depot?  Is there a Kenya town in Seattle next to China town?

If I’m the United States, and I’m back in high school and I see one of my best friends get beat up one day by a bully, I’m gonna have their backs the next day because they had mine at one point 300 plus years ago.  Then,  I’ll show the rest of the world my respect for them by flying their flag atop my privately owned landmark.  This is of course in a fantasy world where apparently I own property, and all of my friends have personal emblems, but what I’m saying is  The United States is best friends with France, and just acquaintances with Kenya.  Doesn’t mean one tragedy is worse than the other, and it’s NOT racist.

Show me the people in Kenya getting offended by the French flag and maybe I’ll believe you, but in the meantime we can’t put every countries flag up every time there is a disaster.  And by the way, killing and/or treating people unfairly because of the color of their skin is racist, not putting up a flag of one country as opposed to another country just because you make the point that white people live there.  

Now on to this ad.


I laughed the first time I saw it because I got the joke, but at the same time I was definitely NOT surprised to find this was attached to a post questioning whether or not this ad suggests a “rape culture” insinuating that the guy roofied the eggnog. 

Wow, pretty rapey huh?  Another word that just gets thrown around like a trending topic on Twitter these days.  Let’s analyze this…

The guy in the ad IS kind of creepy looking like he just did something wrong, and the girl is having a good time right?  So of course I can see how some sick and twisted people would take this to the dark part of the brain that suggests he is definitely going to rape her later. 

That’s fucked up, but people seem to love being offended by things instead of seeing them in different ways.  Here are some other scenarios to consider.

What if the guy is the ad is gay? What if he’s looking at his best friend who is talking to another guy at the party that got cut out of the final billboard?  What if he’s looking past her, and staring at some dude hoping to have sex with HIM later.  Would that still be considered rapey?  

Consider this… what if SHE spiked HIS drink?  Now she’s laughing about it and the dude in the ad is like, what a crazy bitch that woman is.  What if the roles were reversed, and by the way, don’t call me racist or rapey because a good friend of mine is the one who suggested this scenario and guess what, she is a woman!

Finally, how does one serve eggnog at  a Christmas party anyway?  Isn’t it always in one giant bowl with a ladle and a lots of reindeer shaped cups like Uncle Eddie had in the movie Christmas Vacation?  If so, then whomever spiked the egg nog just roofied EVERYONE at that party and it doesn’t matter cause they will all pass out soon with no one to force sex onto them, except of course for the people who didn’t drink the eggnog.   

It all depends on how you choose to look at it, but let’s try to remember that even though we don’t like something we may see or read, being offended is a choice, not an instinct.  

I choose to feel like the owner of the space needle did something to show his or her support for France, a country that helped us during 9-11 and prayed for Kenya, who we all share a deep remorse with.

I choose to feel the billboard was humorous and festive and also I choose to think that if you put two people dressed like it was 1950 in that Bloomingdale’s ad with the same text, no one would think there was anything wrong with that.

Being offended is a sign of the times, I understand that,  but going around labeling things racist and rapey just to get people to click your link or jump on your team to argue over some silly point is just childish. 

I think we’d be a better country if we stopped trying so hard to be offended, and tried a little harder at understanding each other.

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