I fell asleep alcohol free around 10pm last night. I didn’t take any sleeping pill, and I didn’t even have a cigarette before I went to bed. I woke up a few times in the middle of the night sweating, possibly because my body had to detox a little bit from the last few weeks, or possibly because the temperature in my bedroom fluctuates between a cool chill, and a warm breeze throughout the night. I still haven’t figured that part out, but regardless I did something good for me yesterday, yet still kinda douchey. I bought a vape pen.
I’m well aware that smoking is a terrible habit and nothing good will come from it if I continue to smoke other than coughing and black lung, but in the past year I decided that I eventually want to get married and raise a family one day, and I feel like it’s my best interest to be alive longer so that these things can actually happen. So in a effort to make myself a better person and stay on this planet long enough to see my future son and or daughter graduate high school, I had to buy this…
I didn’t pick the color, but I don’t see this as a fashion statement either so who the fuck cares what color it is? A few years ago I quit smoking for about two months with the help of one of these, but I think it got lost in the move, so I was convinced by the Middle Eastern guy who runs the smoke shop on 99 that this is the cheapest and most effective way to accomplish what I want. I don’t know if this is going to work again so much as it is going to make me look like toolbag taking a puff from a magic wand, but I’m going to give it a chance and try again to quit, and this time I think I have a little more will power.
I get easily distracted with stuff in my life and even though I have never been diagnosed with ADD, I feel like its definitely possible that I could have ADD, so perhaps what I need to do is focus on something all day every day like NOT smoking and really give it a shot.
Sure, I wish it was as simple and just quitting cold turkey, and maybe in a week or so I’ll be able to do that. I just don’t want to turn into a grouchy mess that no one wants to be around. Ideally, I would take a weeks vacation to some tropical island and not bring any cigarettes and just relax at the beach and sip on a few cocktails while I was quitting, but then I woke up, and realized I can’t afford that right now, so me sucking on an electric pipe like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland is the next best thing.
Wish me luck.