I have been drinking alcohol a lot lately. Pretty much every day after work and on my days off I enjoy one or two or sometimes three or four alcoholic drinks. Within the last week, I have started to notice some negative repercussions and have come to the realization that I need to take a break, at least for a few days because even though I DO love to drink, I love myself a little more to know when to take it easy.
I started drinking late in my life. When I was 27 and living in L.A. I found out that the way to socialize with friends and the way to date women and get to know them was to be able to share a drink here and there and chat about life. It worked for a little bit, until that one time when I went out to dinner with an older woman, and she ended up having to drive me back to her apartment until I could sober up and drive myself home because I had reached my limit of three glasses of wine, which is now just another Tuesday night.
How embarrassing was that? Needless to say my low tolerance and adolescent behavior when I was drunk was probably a turn off and led to less dates until the point when she eventually decided to stop seeing me. Years went by and I was able to get a hold on my social drinking and since then I have been very conscientious about it, have built up my tolerance, and haven’t made any dumb decisions when I was drunk…..well, maybe just a few last year and earlier this month, but for the most part I’m a fun drunk to be around.
Fast forward to the last month or so, I’ve been going through a somewhat difficult time. My job is stressful, my gf and I love to drink when we go out, and my cat has gotten really sick and I can tell that the end is near for her. I would start drinking before work at lunch and then go into work and just feel kind of shitty once I became less inebriated. All these personal issues and this alcoholic diet has started to make me moody, lazy, a little bit dramatic, and has left me feeling a lot less productive. In the past week I have noticed my tongue has been coated every day, my appetite has almost disappeared, and my apartment has been a mess. These are not good things to have happen, and I can’t continue this way.
But what really woke me up was when this happened yesterday afternoon. I had had a few drinks on my patio, but wanted to go out to this video store on Roosevelt to rent a movie. (Yes, there are a few video stores left in Seattle surprisingly) I got into my car and started driving but hadn’t gotten very far when I realized I had left my wallet at home. I turned the car around and headed back to my apartment, ran upstairs and grabbed my ID and on my way back down to the car a conversation from the night before popped into my head. All I remember thinking was how we were talking about how someone almost got a DUI, otherwise known as a “duey” I just kept hearing the phrase “don’t get a duey” in my head. The words stopped me in my tracks in the hallway on the way back down to my car, and I decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea if I drove anywhere including to this video store, so I parked my car back in my spot and went upstairs. I think it’s the most responsible decision I have made in awhile.
Look, I enjoy drinking alcohol, but I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t get mean, or am unable to live my life, or allow it to have a negative effect on me, but waking up three times in the middle of the night in a cold sweat all last week has led me to believe that my body is trying to tell me to take it easy for a little bit, and I have to listen to what it’s telling me, just like I listened to that voice inside my head yesterday afternoon.
I’m starting a three day cleanse today, however I won’t be drinking a gross concoction of honey, cayenne pepper and water any time soon. I just want to take the next three days off from alcohol and get myself back into a healthy lifestyle of working out, eating right, and going into work with the idea of being there to make money and not let the shit get to me.
Even though I am off today, I still feel like it’s a good time to start. My Monday included a diet of a four cheese pizza, and about four Manhattans, just to even out the numbers, but by the time I avoided a possible DUI, I ended up sobering up, taking a Melatonin at 9:45 last night, and slept until 7am this morning. I think I needed it. I know I need to take some time off from the bottle, so here I am. I’m going to try and post something everyday for the next three days so
A. I can feel like I’m being held responsible for my life, and
B. I know that I’m not going through it alone.
Today I woke up, made coffee, and cleaned my entire apartment. I’m going to work out, go see a movie, and eat something healthy for lunch, and when I come back to my place and I see how nice it looks, I can only hope that it will motivate me to be as clean and alcohol free on the inside, as it is on the outside. Day one starts now.