I remember this feeling. Waiting to hear if you got the job, or were approved for the car, or will be moving into a new place by the weekend.
However, if I were an actor in Hollywood it would be the equivalent to being on avail for a Super Bowl commercial, so it’s kind of a big deal. Yet, I’m not actually waiting for a job, I’m waiting for a place to live. Another way of saying that would be that I’m on avail…. for my life
For those who don’t know know the lingo, “on avail” means it’s down to you and one other person for the job. However in this case, it’s just down to me. No other applicants. The auditions and callbacks and producer sessions are water under the bridge, and now I just……wait.
I try to be patient, so I just wait.
And I wait, and you wait, and we wait and wait and wait, until we get a call from someone saying it’s all yours. The job, or the place, or the car, regardless of what the fuck it is Congrats! Now you can proceed with the rest of your life!
Pretty big moment to look forward to for someone who gave it all up and crash landed 1100 miles north of the San Fernando Valley.
I feel like I’ve been on avail in Seattle for the last week. It’s probably the only time I will have to go through this I hope, but at this point, it’s out of my hands.
I accept that this is where I’m at, and eventually one day I’ll remember it fondly, but for right now, in this moment, I feel like I’m on avail… for the rest of my life.