No, No. Yes, Yes.

That’s me about 9 years ago standing in front of the greatest hole in the United States probably wondering “what does it all mean.” There I am in the middle of absolutely no traffic the last time I was at a major crossroads in my life.

I was driving cross the Southwest, trying to figure out what to do next as my 30 year old world was in upheaval. I was mentally in a bad place back then, but apparently I was too resilient to allow that be the death of me. I guess sometimes I do my best work that way.   I must have been in my element.

It’s funny how life is cyclical.

I’m not in a bad place anymore, but I’m still in a world of upheaval, figuring out what to do next as my 40th year old world approaches relentlessly.  It got me thinking about moving on, and moving up, and the lyrics to the song “Craving”  by James Bay that I heard the other night.

He writes….

Where do I go?
What do I need?
Is it ecstasy or is it fear?
Am I on my own…am I even close?

Those are tough questions to answer.  I would love know  the answer to all those questions at the same time.  Even though I am clear about where  to go, and what I need, the other three answers vary daily like a horoscope from ecstasy to fear, to no, no, yes yes. 

I’ll admit it, a part of me is scared to death about uprooting myself for a third time in my life, but then again, if the last 39 years have taught me anything, it’s to listen to my instincts, and follow my heart because what have I really got to lose?

Nothing.

I’m as free from limitations as a bird flying south for the winter, except this bird will head northwest because I feel a better life is waiting for me.

I like how music that means something to me know, reminds me of a time when I felt this way before, and of course, always seems to find me when I need it the most.

Just for today, I think I can answer those 5 questions by saying

“Yes, Yes, Both, yes, yes.”

Cause I’m craving something I can feel.

 

11 thoughts on “No, No. Yes, Yes.

    1. moonskittles

      YAY!! I made it!! 😀
      Well, once those two hours go by, let me know how it feels so I can brace myself for my 4-0.. waaaaaaaaaaa…
      hugs!!!!

      Like

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