This is how it all begins…(or ends) The choice is up to you! Remember to VOTE for your Faves!
Your Choices How to DIE This Week Are:
1. Being repeatedly kicked in the crotch by Taylor Swift as she forces you to listen to the new Coldplay album while Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue and stabs out your eyes and ears with plastic utensils.
2. Being tied down with pieces of Hillary Clinton’s pantsuit, while being smothered to death by Donald Trumps hair as Jeb Bush munches on kettle corn and laughs until you die.
3. Drowning in a sea of unread “Cyber Monday” emails.
4. Going to get a Brazilian wax, but instead of hair, the waxer rips out the top layer of skin all over your body, and then dumps you into one of the semi-frozen Great Lakes in Michigan.
5. Same as number #1, but in front of a live audience.
6. Having someone put a gun to your head, pull the trigger, and nothing happens. You breath a sign of relief and think you are going to live in the exact moment that your murderer pulls out another gun that DOESN’T jam and shoots you in the head for real this time .
7. Falling off the edge of a cliff, only to realize it’s a mere three feet fall, but when you stand up, the ledge you fell onto gives out and you fall a mile and a half to your death into the Grand Canyon while tourists take pictures.
8. Winning the lottery, then running outside to celebrate with the winning ticket only to slip and fall on a patch of ice in front of a 7-11 while some homeless person shanks you 51 times with a knife he fashioned out of a toothbrush. You die, bleed out, and no one ever claims the winning ticket. Instead the money goes back to the state government.
9. Having someone meathead at LA Fitness drop fifty pound weights on your body until all 206 bones are broken while every douchebag in the place takes “gym selfies” of your demise while flexing in the mirror, then posts them on Facebook.
10. Listening to Katy Perry after you eat six pills of the strongest ecstasy, while you overheat from the inside and have a brain aneurysm in the middle of the song “Firework.”
Please share, re-blog, comment, and like. Buzzfeed ain’t got nothing on this list!
(#11-#20 Ways to DIE: December 8th, 2015!)
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